Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She bit a glass in half.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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