just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if only i could text you this smell
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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