David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
