Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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