I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
