do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's never too late to be topless.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
