I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
