Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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