Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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