try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
