She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
