shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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