Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
