Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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