The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
