I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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