i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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