Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
