Me. At least after what I've been through.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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