You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
