is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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