all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
