It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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