I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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