so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
