Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
