he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
its not stalking. its research.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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