watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
