is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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