I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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