As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
