I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
