Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So much rum. So many feels.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
