Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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