I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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