Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
