i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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