so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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