after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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