oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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