Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
