The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
