I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
