How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
