they said they heard you say put it in my butt
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
