Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
