Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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