So drunk its hurt
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
