I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
