woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
