We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
